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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Allowing your child to express themselves even when others don't agree

I guess I was lucky I had parents that were a good bit liberal and allowed all of us kids to express our individuality vie dress, hair styles/ piercings you name it. I think it was one part of my upbringing that really set in stone that I didn't have to fit some elses box but could look anyway I choose to. I knew as a parent I wanted my children to have that same freedom of self expression. I don't tell them how to dress unless it is something that is showing parts of their body that would be seen as indecent for the majority of society. But as far as if they wanted piercings, hair dyed, crazy mix matched outfits, they are free to explorer and figure their own style out for themselves. I have met so many other parents that do not do this. They would never allow their child to have blue hair or even where something that wasn't acceptable via their church. I didn't want that for my children. I also didn't care if the lady ringing me up at Wal-mart approved or not. To be completely honest I don't even care if other homeschooling families approved. The way I see it if your judge me or my child based on outer appearance then your not the type of people we would want in our lives. I want to raise children who think for themselves, that are not afraid to be different, that follow the beat to their own drum. I didn't want to raise children that will just blindly do what everyone else does and I sure didn't want to raise kids that do not question everything. Personally I think allowing my children this freedom helps them on the path of being true to themselves as adults. They will know that they have the freedom to be what ever they want to be. So for me I think allowing your children to express and discover who they are in all kinds of different ways is highly important and I would advise others loosen up and give them some wiggle room to do so. My daughter just dyed her hair blue and she has had pink before that. What is it going to hurt to allow them to experiment with different forms of self expression? Do you say no because your friends at church will look down on you? Do you say no because some stranger will give your child dirty looks at the grocery store? What if someone says something to your child that is mean and rude is the question I get asked. Well I tell them off. Seriously I have no problem telling them their opinion of my child's hair means nothing and they should mind their own business. i will usually throw in a " judge not less the be judged" or a " treat others the way you would want to be treated" usually that shuts them up. To be honest I'm a bit weird, my family is a bit, strange, we all follow our own path and if someone else has an issue with it that is their issue not mine. I want my children to grow up to not care what others think of them and to know it is only what they think of themselves that truly matters.
I'm not judging you if you are a more conserved  parent. That is fine only you can choose what is right path for your family but it would be nice if you showed me and my family the same respect. What I would really like to express to the world is we should focus more on what makes us happy and less on what makes others happy about us. There will always be people who don't like you or the way you are whether you have blue hair or not. Someone is always judging how you should change so why live life for them why not live life in a way that brings joy to you. If that means tattoos then get tattoos, If that means dressing in skirts down to your ankles then wear skirts down to your ankles. As a society we spend way to much time worrying about the Jones than we do worrying about living a joyful live and staying true to ourselves.


  1. I have a daughter who has rainbow coloured hair! Hair grows. I don't see what some people's problem is. I had my time of experimenting when I was much younger. I think your daughter looks great!

  2. I agree. I never had blue hair, but I did bleach my hair blond. Haha! Learn the hard lesson. It broke off. But I did it anyway and have never done it again.

    The kids, they have to express themselves. You squash it, it will come back later.

    The problem I have (and I haven't experienced this yet as my kids are a lot younger) but the boobs and butts hanging out. Just personally, I think you have to have some respect for yourself. We will see how all that plays out. Maybe I will go through the teenage years covering my eyes, and praying a lot.


    Thanks for this post, and for linking up with us at the Homeschoollinkup!