I Refuse to Fear Any Longer

I have read those words over and over through out my life. There are only two real emotions fear and love all others are just aspects of these two. I have asked myself many times which of them are most present in my life. We fear failure. We fear governments. We fear loneliness. We fear let down. But what about love how many of us set out mindfully to make love the most present in our lives?

As I thought about this I realized that me the girl next door who often calls herself that country , hippies, peace and love spreading light being still has a lot of fear. I remember when I first started researching homeschooling I was totally filled with fear. How could I possibly do a better job than the countless teachers who have gone to school and been trained to educate the young beings of this world? I feared I wouldn't have the patients  or the know how. I feared my children would not learn and would have gaps in their education. I feared they wouldn't make friends or would turn out weird. I finally got the courage to take the leap to be a homeschooling momma. I set out with my structured little school room full of textbooks, computers, lesson plans, and posters on every inch of the wall. Little desk set up just like any public school room you would walk into today. I look back on that first year and giggle at how we tackled schooling at home. Boy I was clueless.

If we are honest with ourselves we would have said to Hell with the fear I couldn't do any worse than those countless beings who were educated to be the educators. Yes, I totally just said that. Just take a look at the educational system in America. The test scores have not changed much in over 30 yrs. Look back on what your own personal experience was when you were in school. If it was anything like mine  you will see you have gaps in your education. There is no way you remember everything you ever covered in school. How many of you actually remember all that algebra or what about about the names and dates to every battle fought???? That is what I thought, you don't. Do you look in the mirror everyday and feel you are a failure because that algebra has some how been lost to the neither region of facts in your brain? Do you feel you miss them? If so well google free algebra course and reteach yourself. If not carry on as you are. My point is there would never be any such thing as homeschooling or even private schools for that matter if public school education was so perfect in it's system of educating the young minds of this world. In the 3 years of homeschooling my children I have come across so many useless lessons that in my opinion have no use in the lives of the avg. person. So why do we worry, why do we fear are children will be lost and become failures without them? I started to reassess all those reasons why I made the leap in the first place. I didn't do it for religious reasons. I did it because I wanted my children to be able to learn at their own pace. I wanted them to be able to follow their own interest. I wanted them to be in an environment that was safe and loving. I wanted them to learn more than math or reading , I also wanted them to learn real world skills. I wanted them to have a life that was focused on the world around them and what it has to teach them not one focused on making it through lunch without the school bully stealing their lunch money. I wanted them to learn that a connection to nature was more important than those $100 shoes everyone is wearing. I wanted them to have the freedom to grow and discover their own passions without the influence of society, schools, and even their peers. Most of all I wanted them to have a life they loved.

This year I have learned to let go of the fear of what if's. This year I have learned that I don't want fear to control mine nor their life paths. I have learned that textbooks do not have the key to all knowledge and wisdom,.That these beautiful beings I call my children can learn from just about anything. That they are learning 24 hrs a day. Yes even in their dreams they are discovering magical worlds that are helping create who they are and who they will become. I never realized just how much learning happens from just simple everyday things like watching tv. How many of us have set down and watched a history channel episode and thought wow I learned more from that one hr. episode than I ever did from history class. Well if not ok maybe I am the odd man out. Because I sure do. Think about how much children are learning when they are walking through nature observing the plants and insects. Their little minds are like sponges soaking it all up. You know which thing was the hardest for me to loose the fear over? Video games. Yes I am a very nongamer momma. I have no clue about video games. Personally I do not enjoy them,but my children do. My 4 yr old who plays minecraft has learned different plants and trees, 3 d shapes, rocks and minerals and he completely blows me away when he comes to me and explains all these things. I sit back and say to my self how on earth is he getting all this from a video game at four. So yes I think there is something to this unschooling way of educating children. I think that if you just trust that they are spiritual beings and completely connected to source then they have at some level the full ability to follow their life path. That they will learn everything they need to know to become what their soul came here to be. We never look at the baby and say I need to teach her to roll over do we? No, we trust that in her own time she will learn this on her own. Through trial and error she will learn everything she needs to get to the next step the next level of her personal development.

Through my own journey of learning and growing I have learned to make this my motto" I Refuse to Fear Any Longer". I will trust that how ever our lives turn out and where ever they lead us is just where we were meant to be. I will trust that the spark of source that is infinitely knowing within us will guide us and will lead us to the educational experience that we need to learn be it algebra or not. I will trust that my children have their own path and I am only here to help make that path a little less bumpy for them. I will trust that the LOVE of learning will be stronger in all of us than the FEAR of not learning. I will accept that my children are not something I own but should have the freedoms of any other human being on earth. The freedom to live as stress free as possible. The freedom to enjoy the world they were born into. The freedom to discover who they are and what they want to become. The freedom to fail and the freedom to succeed. The freedom to experience and to explore. The freedom to take as much time as they need to just breath and be in the moment. The freedom to liberty, safety, and happiness. The freedom to have their voice heard when it comes to things that effect their lives. The freedom of choices. I will teach my children two things to love life and to not fear.